Social media
Understanding Social Media
About 30 minutes, at your own pace
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How to use Facebook and Instagram safely to stay connected with family and friends: set your privacy so only the right people see your posts, spot fake profiles, share photos without oversharing, and buy and sell safely on Facebook Marketplace.
Patricia's story
Patricia, 71, lives in London, Ontario. Her daughter had set up a Facebook account for her so they could share family photos. Patricia was nervous at first; it all felt very public, very exposed. But she quickly discovered it was the only way to see real-time photos of her grandchildren in Calgary. Their first steps. Birthday cakes. School concerts. Things she would otherwise miss entirely.
Then one afternoon, a friend request arrived. The person looked legitimate: a profile photo of a smiling man, a reasonable name, a few posts about life in Ontario. Patricia nearly accepted. Something made her pause.
She looked more closely: the account was only three weeks old, had no mutual friends, and the photos all looked like they came from a magazine. It was a scam account, the kind used to build fake relationships and eventually ask for money.
Patricia pressed "Delete Request" and felt proud of herself. She had protected the connection she valued, without losing it. This lesson will give you the same tools she used.
Social media can feel like a party where everyone knows the rules except you. If it ever leaves you feeling overwhelmed or left out, that is not a personal failing; these apps are deliberately busy. You get to use exactly as much or as little of them as you want. Watching quietly is a perfectly valid way to participate.
What is social media?
Social media is the name for websites and apps where people share updates, photos, videos, and messages with each other. Instead of sending individual emails, you post something once and the people you choose can see it. Think of it like a community bulletin board, but one that only shows updates from the people you have chosen to follow or connect with.
- Facebook: the most popular platform in Canada for people over 50. Great for family groups, community events, buying and selling locally, and staying in touch with friends across any distance. This lesson focuses mainly on Facebook.
- Instagram: a photo and short-video sharing app. Many families use it to post moments from daily life. The basics are covered near the end of this lesson.
- LinkedIn: a professional networking site, useful if you are still working or doing volunteer work. Less relevant for most retirees.
You might wonder whether social media is worth the trouble. For many seniors, it genuinely is: it is often the easiest way to see grandchildren's milestones in real time, join hobby groups (gardening, quilting, local history), stay informed about community events, and feel less isolated. The key is learning to use it on your own terms, with your privacy protected.
"Once I post something, only my friends can see it." This is not automatically true. Your privacy settings determine who sees your posts, and the default on Facebook is often broader than you would expect. This lesson shows you exactly how to fix this.
Getting started with Facebook
If you already have a Facebook account, feel free to skip ahead to understanding the key parts of the screen.
Sign up for Facebook
On your iPad, iPhone, or computer, go to facebook.com, or open the Facebook app if it is already installed.
Tap or click Create New Account.
Enter your first name, last name, email address, a password you will remember, your date of birth, and your gender.
Tap Sign Up. Facebook will send a confirmation code to your email; enter that code to verify your account.
You do not need to add a phone number if you do not want to. You can skip optional steps by tapping Skip.
A Profile is a personal account; it is for you as an individual. A Page is for businesses, organisations, or public figures. You want a Profile. If Facebook asks whether you want to create a Page, tap Skip or go back.
Understanding the main screen
- News Feed (Home): the scrolling list of posts from friends and pages you follow. This is the main screen when you open Facebook.
- Notifications bell (🔔): alerts you when someone likes your post, comments, or sends a friend request.
- Your Profile: tap your name or photo to see your own profile, what others see when they visit your page.
- Menu (☰ or your photo, top right): access to Settings, Groups, Marketplace, and more.
- Messenger icon: private messages between you and another person.
Friend requests: accepting, declining, and removing
- To accept a request: tap the notification or go to Friends, then Friend Requests, then tap Confirm.
- To decline a request: tap Delete Request. The person is not notified that you declined.
- To remove an existing friend: go to their profile, tap Friends, then tap Unfriend. They are not notified.
You never have to accept a friend request from anyone. You can take as long as you like to decide, or simply decline without any explanation.
Privacy settings that actually matter
Privacy settings are the controls that decide who gets to see your information on Facebook. Getting these right is the single most important thing you can do to use Facebook safely. Every time you write a post, Facebook asks who should see it. You have three main choices:
- Public: anyone on the internet, including strangers who are not on Facebook at all, can see this post. Avoid this for personal posts.
- Friends: only the people you have approved as Facebook friends can see this post. This is the setting we recommend.
- Only Me: only you can see this post. Useful for saving notes to yourself.
Set your default audience to "Friends" for all personal posts. You can always change it for individual posts if needed, but "Friends" is a sensible starting point that keeps strangers from seeing your life.
Using Facebook's built-in Privacy Checkup
Tap your profile photo or the menu icon (☰) in the top right of Facebook.
Scroll down and tap Settings & Privacy, then tap Settings.
Tap Privacy (or search for "Privacy Checkup" using the search bar at the top).
Tap Privacy Checkup. Facebook will walk you through the most important settings one at a time.
For each question, choose the most restrictive option that still meets your needs, usually Friends.
Key settings to change right now
- Who can see your future posts: set to Friends.
- Who can send you friend requests: set to Friends of Friends (only people who share at least one mutual friend with you can send a request, reducing random strangers).
- Who can look you up using your email address or phone number: set to Friends or No one.
- Do you want search engines to link to your profile: turn this Off. This stops Google from showing your Facebook profile in search results.
- Location sharing in the Facebook app: Settings, then Location, set to Never or While Using the App.
Changing your default setting to "Friends" only affects new posts going forward. If you want to make old posts private too, go to Settings, then Privacy, then Limit Past Posts and tap Limit. This is optional, but a good idea if you have been posting publicly without realising it.
Recognising fake profiles and scams
Not everyone on Facebook is who they claim to be. Scammers create fake profiles specifically to target people, and they are often very convincing at first glance.
Red flags of a fake profile
- The account was created recently (look for the "Joined Facebook" date on their profile: tap About, then Overview).
- The profile photo looks like a professional stock photo or magazine image, not a candid family photo.
- No mutual friends in common with you at all.
- A very generic or slightly unusual name (like "James William" or "Robert Marine").
- Very few posts on their timeline, or posts that seem oddly generic.
- They message you immediately after you accept their request, often with flattering comments.
If a profile photo looks too polished, you can check whether it is a stolen image. On a computer, right-click the profile photo and choose Search image (or save the image and go to images.google.com to upload it). If the same photo appears on dozens of different websites under different names, it is almost certainly fake.
Friend request scams and romance scams
The most common Facebook scam targeting older adults follows a predictable pattern: (1) you receive a friend request from an attractive stranger, often posing as a widowed military veteran, a professional working abroad, or a lonely retiree; (2) they are warm, attentive, and interested in your life, and conversations may go on for days or weeks; (3) eventually an "emergency" arises: they need money for a flight to visit you, a medical bill, or a customs fee to release a package; (4) they ask for an Interac e-transfer, gift cards (iTunes, Google Play, Amazon), or a wire transfer. You send the money. They disappear.
The RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) reports that romance scams cost Canadians over $50 million every year, and most victims never report it because they feel embarrassed. There is no shame in being targeted. These scammers are professional manipulators. The rule is simple: never send money to someone you have not met in person, no matter how convincing the story.
Reporting a fake profile or suspicious post
Go to the profile or post you want to report.
Tap the three dots (...). They appear in the top right corner of any post, or on a profile.
Tap Find support or report profile (or Report post).
Choose the reason that best describes the problem, for example Pretending to be someone or Scam or fraud.
Follow the on-screen steps. Facebook reviews reports and removes accounts that violate their rules.
If a scammer has created a fake account using your name and photos, report it to Facebook immediately via the Help Centre. You can also ask friends to report it; multiple reports speed up the review process. Visit facebook.com/help and search "report impersonation." To report to Canadian authorities, call the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: 1-888-495-8501.
Sharing photos safely
Photos are one of the great joys of social media: a grandchild's first day of school, a friend's new garden, a lovely sunset. But before you post any photo, it is worth pausing for a moment.
- Who can see this? Is your post set to Friends, or accidentally Public?
- Does the photo reveal personal information? Look carefully for house numbers, street signs, school uniforms with the school's name, or car licence plates in the background.
- Are there children in the photo? It is generally best not to post children's full names in captions, and to avoid photos that show where a child regularly goes (school, playground, sports club).
- Does this tell someone you are away from home? "Just left for a two-week cruise!" is essentially a notice to burglars. Save the holiday photos for when you get back.
Choosing who sees a photo album
When creating a new photo album, Facebook will ask who should see it.
Tap the audience selector (it may say "Friends" or show a small icon like a person or globe).
Choose Friends for family photos. Choose Only Me for photos you are saving privately.
For an existing album: tap on the album, tap the three dots (...), tap Edit Album, then change the audience.
Removing a tag from a photo
Find the photo you have been tagged in (it will appear in your notifications, or on your profile under Photos).
Tap the photo to open it.
Tap the three dots (...) or tap your name in the tag.
Tap Remove Tag. The photo stays on the other person's page, but it is no longer linked to your profile.
To save a photo from a friend's post: tap the photo to open it full screen, tap the three dots (...) in the top right corner, then tap Download or Save Photo. The photo saves to your device's photo library.
It is good practice to ask family members before posting photos of them, especially grandchildren. Some parents prefer their children not appear publicly online at all, even in friends-only posts.
Dealing with unwanted contact
Sometimes someone on Facebook makes you feel uncomfortable: they post unkind things, keep sending messages you do not want, or just will not leave you alone. You have several tools to handle this, and you never have to explain yourself.
- Unfriending removes the friend connection. They can still search for you and find your profile if it is not fully private. They may notice you are no longer friends.
- Blocking hides you from each other completely. They cannot find your profile, message you, or see your posts. You cannot see theirs either. They are not told they have been blocked.
Blocking a person on Facebook
Go to their profile (tap their name anywhere you see it).
Tap the three dots (...) near the top of their profile page.
Tap Block, then confirm by tapping Block [their name].
They are now blocked. The action is immediate and silent.
The "Snooze" option: if someone posts a lot and you find their posts annoying or upsetting, but you do not want to unfriend them (perhaps they are a family member), you can snooze them. Find one of their posts in your News Feed, tap the three dots (...) in the top right corner of their post, and tap Snooze [their name] for 30 days. Their posts disappear from your feed for 30 days, then things return to normal automatically. They never know you did this.
Reporting harassment: on any post or message that feels threatening or harassing, tap the three dots (...) and tap Report, then choose the appropriate reason. For serious online exploitation or threats, report at cybertip.ca or call 1-866-658-9022.
Blocking or reporting someone is always the right call if they are making you feel unsafe. You owe no one access to your online life.
Facebook Marketplace safety
Facebook Marketplace is a buy-and-sell feature built right into Facebook. Think of it as a digital community garage sale: furniture, appliances, vehicles, and more from people in your local area. Many Ontario communities also have local Facebook Groups for buying and selling (for example, "St. Thomas Buy/Sell/Trade"); these often have more accountability because the group members know each other.
Safe buying on Marketplace
- Meet in a public place. Many Ontario police stations designate their parking lots as "safe exchange zones"; look for signs or call your local detachment to ask. Busy coffee shops and shopping centres also work well.
- Bring a friend or family member. Never meet a stranger alone, especially for higher-value items.
- See the item in person before you pay. If a seller insists on payment before you can see the item, walk away. That is a scam.
- Use cash or Facebook Pay only. Never send an Interac e-transfer to someone you have never met. E-transfers are very difficult to recover if the deal goes wrong.
- Trust your instincts. If the price seems too good to be true, a $200 iPhone or a $400 riding lawnmower in perfect condition, it almost certainly is.
Common Marketplace scams
- Fake listings: the item does not exist. The seller collects payment and vanishes.
- Overpayment scam: the buyer "accidentally" sends you too much money and asks you to send the difference back. The original payment bounces later; you lose the item and the refund.
- Phishing links: the "buyer" sends you a link to verify your identity or shipping. Never click these links. Facebook does not require outside verification.
If anyone on Marketplace, or anywhere online, asks you to pay using iTunes gift cards, Google Play gift cards, or Amazon gift cards, stop immediately. No legitimate business or private seller accepts gift cards as payment. This is the single most common payment method used by scammers targeting older Canadians.
Safe selling on Marketplace
- Do not include your home address in the listing. Arrange to meet somewhere neutral.
- Confirm payment is complete before handing over the item.
- If meeting at home is unavoidable (for example, large furniture), have a friend or family member present and do not let the buyer wander through your home.
Instagram basics
Instagram is a photo and short-video sharing app owned by the same company as Facebook (Meta). While it tends to attract a younger audience, many families use it to share everyday moments, and many seniors find it a lovely window into their grandchildren's lives.
- Instagram is primarily visual: photos and short videos, with less emphasis on written updates.
- On Instagram, you follow accounts rather than adding friends. Following is one-way by default: you can follow someone without them following you back, and vice versa.
- Public accounts can be followed by anyone. Private accounts require the person's approval before anyone can follow them and see their posts. We strongly recommend making your account private.
- Posts are permanent photos or videos on your profile. Stories are photos or short videos that disappear after 24 hours; they appear at the top of the screen as small circles.
Making your Instagram account private
Open the Instagram app and tap your profile photo in the bottom right corner.
Tap the three lines (☰) in the top right corner.
Tap Settings and privacy, then tap Account privacy.
Turn on the Private account toggle. It will turn blue when active.
Only people you approve can now follow you and see your posts.
Instagram has a private messaging feature called Direct Messages (DMs). If a stranger sends you a message that seems unexpectedly friendly, asks personal questions, or eventually requests money or personal information, this is a scam. The same romance scam pattern that exists on Facebook is also common on Instagram. Block and report suspicious accounts using the same three-dots (...) menu.
The easiest way to see your grandchildren's or children's Instagram posts is to ask them to share their username with you. Search for it in Instagram's search bar (the magnifying glass icon), tap their name, and tap Follow. If their account is private, they will receive a follow request to approve.
Send a simple message to someone you care about. Something like "Thinking of you today." That is all it takes to brighten someone's day.
Quick check: test your knowledge
Tap the answer you think is correct. There is no score kept and nothing to sign in to.
1. On social media, the "Public" setting means:
2. You receive friend requests from people you do not know. The safest approach is:
3. A chain message says "share this or you will have bad luck." What should you do?
4. A grandchild posts your home address online. You should:
5. Privacy settings on social media control:
Your progress
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Well done. You can now set your privacy so only the right people see your posts, spot fake profiles before they cause harm, share photos thoughtfully, handle unwanted contact, and buy and sell safely on Marketplace. Social media is now working on your terms.