Romance Scams Targeting Seniors

How romance scams work — the full timeline

Unlike quick scams, romance fraud is a long-term investment by criminals. Here is how a typical scam unfolds over weeks or months:

1. Contact: The scammer reaches out on a dating site, Facebook, or even through a "wrong number" text. Their profile shows an attractive person with a compelling life story — often a widowed professional (doctor, engineer, military officer).
2. Building trust: They invest significant time communicating — good morning messages, thoughtful questions, consistent attention. They remember details you share. They seem like they truly care.
3. The barrier: There is always a reason they cannot meet or video call — they are overseas on a contract, their camera is broken, they are in a remote location. The excuses are plausible and patient.
4. The crisis: After weeks or months, a sudden emergency arises. A medical bill. A customs fee on a package. A business deal requiring a temporary loan. The amount starts small.
5. Escalation: Each payment resolves one crisis and creates another. Total losses can reach tens of thousands of dollars before victims recognise what is happening.

Why this scam is particularly painful

Beyond the financial loss, victims often experience deep shame and grief — the loss of a relationship they believed was real. Many are reluctant to report it or tell family. Scammers specifically target people who are widowed, recently divorced, or living alone.

There is no shame in being targeted. These criminals are professional manipulators who invest real time in their deceptions. You were not foolish — you were deceived by someone skilled at deception.

Warning signs — act on these immediately

• They declare love or deep feelings within days or weeks
• They cannot video call or meet due to "circumstances"
• Their profile pictures appear in other names when you search them on Google Images
• They ask for money — any amount, for any reason
• They ask you not to tell your family about the relationship
• The story keeps changing when you ask questions